Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just cut my nipple shaving
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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