ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
