If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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