dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
