my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We need a shit load of segways right now
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
