Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize