So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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