We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
