So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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