Me too!
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
