I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
