can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize