Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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