WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
