My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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