everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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