i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
is wine microwaveable?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
