I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
