Where did you get a picture of my penis
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
