I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
