Im at strip club and am horny
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
