My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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