He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
