and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize