we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
