i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
