barbara walters just said penis...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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