I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
