So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
