He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
