i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
