I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
