I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize