Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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