I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
