PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
