I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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