My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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