so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
This toilet bowl is my home.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
