Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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