she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
