so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
