How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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