When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
