My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
