your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
