ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
