dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
