the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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