Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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