im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
