so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
