I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
