it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize