you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
