if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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