Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
