Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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