Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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